Irish traditional song lyrics — collected by Beer Belly Band.
Chorus:
I am the man, the well fed man, in charge of the terrible knob
The most pleasing thing about it, it’s almost a permanent job
When the Atom war is over and the world is split in three
A consolation I’ve got, well maybe it’s not,
There’ll be nobody left but me
I sit at me desk in Washington in charge of this great machine
More vicious than Adolf Hitler, more deadly than strychnine
And in the evening after a tiring day just to give meself laugh
I hit the button a playful belt and I listen for a blast
Chorus
If Brezhnev starts his nonsense and makes a nasty smell
With a wink and a nod from Nixon I’ll blast them all to hell
And as for that fella Castro—him with his sugar cane
He needn’t hide behind his whiskers—I’ll get him just same
Chorus
If me wife denies me conjugal rights or me breakfast is sour
From eight to nine in the morning you’re for nervous hour
The Button being so terribly close it’s really a dreadful joke
I’ll part with arse as I go past and we’ll all go up in smoke
Chorus
Now I’m thinking of joining the Army, the Army that bans the bomb
We take up a large collection and I’ll donate me thumb
For without it I am helpless and that’s the way to be
You don’t have to kill the whole bloody to make the people free
Chorus