Irish traditional song lyrics — collected by Beer Belly Band.
He’s just a plastic paddy, singing plastic paddy songs
In a plastic paddy pub that’s called “The Blarney Stone”
There’s plastic shamrocks on the walls, there’s Guinness and green beer
And a sign in Gaelic above the bar which says “God Bless All Here!”
His guitar sounds like a wardrobe, and it’s out of tune at that
His singing voice it ranges from F-sharp to F-flat
He’s just desecrated “The Holy Ground”, ripped apart “Black Velvet Band”
Sang, “Seven Nights Drunk” and now he’s sunk “The Irish Rover” with all hands
He’s just a plastic paddy, singing plastic paddy songs
In a plastic paddy pub that’s called “The Blarney Stone”
The publican’s a Proddy Scot by the name of McIntyre
Who does not allow collections for The Men Behind The Wire
He’s done awful things to “Molly Malone” and the fair “Rose Of Tralee”
He’s murdered “Carrickfergus” and poor old “Mother McCree”
He’s thrashed his way through “Galway Bay” and “The Wild Irish Rose”
And if he starts singing “Danny Boy” I’m gonna punch him in the nose
He’s just a plastic paddy, singing plastic paddy songs
In a plastic paddy pub that’s called “The Blarney Stone”
There’s Aer Lingus poster everywhere showing pretty Irish scenes
All peaceful and idyllic, and very bloody green
“When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” and “The Mountains of Mourne”
In his search for Celtic cliché your has left no stone unturned
Till he embarks upon “The Harp Once Through Tara’s Halls”
Accompanying himself of the bodhràn which takes a lot of balls
He’s just a plastic paddy, singing plastic paddy songs
In a plastic paddy pub that’s called “The Blarney Stone”
He’s just sung in his mother tongue, the ancient Irish Erse
And cleared the pub completely by the forty-second verse
Yes he’s just a plastic paddy, singing plastic paddy songs
He’s started singing “Danny Boy” so it’s time that I was gone
And just one thought comes to my mind as I stagger out the door
Where are you when we need your Christy Moore
Where are you when we need your Christy Moore