Irish traditional song lyrics — collected by Beer Belly Band.
There was a monster, a Scottish monster
Who lives in far Loch Ness, a very fine address
All the hoteliers and postcard selliers
Are making fortunes every year
Folk see her cruising when they’ve been boozing
In the pale moonlight – what a fearful sight
And if you get fu’, you might see her too
What a tale to tell your wife
I sing of a monster that lives in Loch Ness
She makes the headlines in the national press
Perhaps she’s employed by the Daily Express
To separate tourists from money
And from England, France and Germany and places far and wide
With their cameras they hide behind the trees
Every year a new invasion’s coming from a foreign nation
They crawl about the banks on hands and knees
And they’ve got submarines and diving-bells and all the latest gear
They come to hunt our Nessie with high hope
They go diving in the water but till now they haven’t caught her
And she’s down there laughing up their periscopes
They couldnae get a picture, a picture, a picture
They couldnae get a picture, she wouldn’t put her head up
They couldnae get a picture, a picture, a picture
They couldnae get a picture, she wouldn’t put her head up
They couldn’t see the hump o’ her, they couldn’t see the rump o’ her
They couldn’t see the hump o’ her, she wouldn’t put her head up
There was a student, a Scottish student
Who blew up rubber tyres and strung them all with wires
He set them floating and sat there gloating
While folk took pictures by the score
And the whole world heard Nessie’s name again
And the Tourist Board played its game again
Please don’t tell them you heard me sing this song
And her name will live forever more