Irish traditional song lyrics — collected by Beer Belly Band.
I’ll tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Yore by the sea
The sun it was bright and the day it was warm,
Says I a quiet pint wouldn’t do me no harm
I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman, “I’m sorry, all the beer is sold out.
Try whiskey or paddy, ten years in the wood.”
Says I, “I’ll try cider, I’ve heard that it’s good good.”
Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I could not get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
Ahhh…
After lowering the third I made straight for the yard
Where I bumped into Brody, the big civic guard
Come here to me boy, don’t you know I’m the law?
Well, I up with me fist and I shattered his jaw
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn’t I hit him, ’twas the Johnny Jump Up
The next thing I met down in Yore by the sea
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me
I’m afraid for me life I’ll be hit by a car
Won’t you help me on down to the Railway Men’s Bar?
After downing a pint of the cider so sweet
Well, he threw down his crutches and danced on his feet
Well, I went up the lee road, a friend for to see
They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Lea
And when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,
Well, they had the poor bugger locked up in a cell
Said the guard, testing him, say these words if you can
Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran
Tell him I’m not crazy, tell him I’m not mad
It was only a sip of the bottle I had
Well, a man died in the mines by the name of McNabb
They washed him and laid him outside on the slab
And after the coroners measurements did take
Well, his wife took him home to a bloody fine wake
About 12 o’clock and the beer it was high
And the corpse he sat up and he says with a sigh
I can’t get to heaven, they won’t let me up
Til I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump Up